No Escape
by Sheraven
Summary: Kenshin comes home to a nasty surprise and discovers that there truly is no escaping his bloody destiny. Warning: Mature themes including violence, yaoi and suicide.
1. Into It

Disclaimer: I do not own Ruroni Kenshin or any of its affiliates.

**No Escape**

_Chapter One – Back Into It_

Never could he have guessed what would confront him when he returned to the dojo. Even before he reached the gates of the Kamiya property, Kenshin Himura knew something was wrong. He had made it back to the dojo just as the sun was setting and the evening carried a foul feeling on the chill breeze. The place was devoid of the usual lively ki; an empty and dark feeling had settled like a wet blanket over the silent buildings. A blackness overcame his heart, snapping with frantic concern.

When Kenshin had risen with the sun that morning, he had done nothing more than exchange somber looks with Kaoru. It was that painful day again for him, the anniversary of Tomoe's death. For the first few years of their life together, Kaoru had gone with him in support, standing in the background while his body shook with silent sobs of guilt and regret. Each year, just before the blossoms appeared, the red head would become apprehensive and even more quiet than usual and Kaoru would prepare to leave.

This year however, he had told her to stay behind. He wanted to do this on his own. He needed to know that he was capable of begging his late wife's forgiveness without the comforting presence of the assistant master of the Kashin style nearby. The day had been extraordinarily difficult. More than once, the Battosai had tried to come to the surface, reverting him the heartless killer he had been. As hard as he tried, Himura knew he couldn't keep the amber from his eyes as he knelt in front of the small, unadorned tombstone.

As he did every year, he felt drained and small as he left the cemetery. He had apologized until the only word he thought he knew was "gomen" and stayed bowed on his knees until his back creaked from stiffness when he finally stood. As he headed back to the dojo, he wanted nothing more than to look into the clear blue eyes of Miss Kaoru and hear the sweet tinkle of laughter from Dr. Gensai's granddaughters.

But now, with such a feeling of dread filling him, he could not believe that everything was as it should be. Kenshin drew his reverse-blade sword and moved as silently as a shadow toward the practice room. His eyes widened in shock at the scent of blood, then narrowed in anger. There was no good reason for blood to be on the dojo floor, especially that much. Moving as quickly and quietly as possible, Kenshin Himura passed though the doorway to the large room and was presented a scene that would forever sear itself into his memory.

Before him was one of the worst things he could imagine. He had witnessed it countless times during the revolution, usually from his own hand, but the sheer brutality of it made him sick to his stomach. He had not seen this kind of death in at least ten years; the amount of blood on the wooden floor was indicative of another manslayer. It was not so much how the poor souls had died that got to the ruroni, it was who they were. In an effort to retain his composure, he pushed his emotions to the back of his mind. Kenshin didn't know it, but there was a distinct golden sheen to his eyes. As he stepped into the darkening room, he identified the back of the blue jacket on the body closest to the door as one belonging to the police.

_Kaoru heard the knocking on the doors of the Kamiya gate again and hurried to answer it. It was too early to be Kenshin and he wouldn't knock anyway. Well, he might, with how formal he always is. When she pulled the door open, to her surprise, there stood Hajime Saito. She opened her mouth to utter some kind of greeting but nothing appropriate came to mind. One never could tell what his intentions were._

_Before the Kamiya girl could say anything, Saito pushed his way past her. In explanation, he offered, "You've heard about the murders? I know where he's going, and I know why he's coming here."_

_"Here?!" Kaoru nearly almost tripped in her effort to keep up with the large man. That damn restrictive kimono had to go. As soon as she had seen Saito in, she was going to go change. Watching him storm around the dojo, she volunteered, "Kenshin's not here right now, he should be back about sunset." Kaoru forced the next words out of her mouth, "Would you like to wait for him?" The last time he had waited for Kenshin, the two had nearly killed each other._

A police jacket? What were the police doing here? What had happened while he was gone? Kenshin was usually alert to the goings on around him, but he had been lost in his own world as he returned from Tomoe's grave. Perhaps he missed some news? He knelt down to roll the man over and narrowed his eyes in shock when he saw who it was. Even though they were still rivals, Himura could not think of anyone who could have done this. Dead at his feet was Hajime Saito.

His eyes were tightly shut and his teeth were clenched, as if he died in pain. His gloved hand was still gripped around the tip of a broken sword imbedded in his chest. As Kenshin looked over Saito's form, he could see multiple slashes. Saito had not gone down easily. As he knelt next to the Tokyo policeman, the blood soaked into Kenshin's white hakama. It was cold, a sign Saito had been dead for awhile. Kenshin's mind reeled, and he sharpened his senses to anything that might give him a clue as to who did this. To have beaten Saito, it must have been someone incredibly powerful.

_Strangely enough, it was Kaoru who heard him coming first. She had just stepped out of the training room to go change when he rustled in one of the surrounding trees. The assistant master of the Kamiya Kashinryu squinted as she searched the branches. She started when he dropped onto the ground, advancing on her. Before she could warn Saito, the former leader of the third squad of the Shinsengumi had pulled her into the dojo, firmly positioning himself in front of her. Kaoru was silently thankful that Saito seemed to be on their side this time, and that Yahiko was gone with Tsubame to the festival in the next town._

The light was fading fast and Kenshin caught a glimpse of another body. Before he even moved, he knew who it was. He could recognize that form because he had fought so fiercely with him. In a mangled heap was Seta Soujirou, that omnipresent smile plastered on his pale face. Something was wrong though; even though his eyes stared blankly at him, Kenshin could see great sadness fading from their depths. As he looked over the body, he noticed that Soujirou had also faced a struggle before he passed. Kenshin recognized the signs of a gatotsu connecting with his chest and noticed the broken sword that Soujirou still clutched.

_Seta Soujirou strode up to the entrance to the practice room and smiled up at Saito. "Well, Officer Hajime, I didn't think you would make it here so quickly." He turned his attention to the confused woman behind the wolf of Mibu, "Miss Kamiya, is Mr. Himura home?"_

_She tried to wrap her mind around why the former right-hand man of Makoto Shishio would come looking for her Kenshin. The ruroni had told her that this kid had left Shishio's group to seek his own truth, why would he be here? And by the way his hand was resting so near his sword, it certainly didn't look like he was here to get more advice about life. She opened her mouth to answer and once again, Saito cut her off. She glared at the back of his head in frustration._

_"What does it matter to you?" he asked curtly. He had been following the young assassin's movements since he had struck out on his own. At first, Soujirou had appeared to be doing what he said he would, he simply wandered all over Japan, living with people for a few days at a time, taking odd jobs and living a somewhat normal life. About four weeks ago, he had disappeared completely. That was saying a lot too, Saito's network of eyes and ears was quite extensive._

_The more Saito looked at Soujirou, the more he noticed the young man's fatigue. He appeared to have lost weight and his skin was unusually sallow. Had he not been eating? Had he been ill? As if in answer to all his thoughts, Soujirou spoke up._

_"I've been doing a lot of thinking about what Mr. Himura said to me and I just can't seem to find any answers. Every time I come to a conclusion about the way life should be, it only brings up more questions." His smile widened, "I would just like to ask Mr. Himura why I can't seem to get him off my mind."_

_At that, both Kaoru and Saito's eyes widened. What was Soujirou saying? Had something else passed between them when Kenshin spared his life? Maybe Soujirou had the wrong idea? The young man did seem troubled by his feelings, Saito could tell he was having a hard time, even through his smile. His weight loss, lack of sleep, very little to eat, plus the turmoil inside him must be taking its toll; Saito could've sworn he saw frustration in Soujirou's eyes._

_Soujirou__ drew his sword, surprising the two in the dojo. "Please excuse my brashness, but I simply can't wait any longer to see Mr. Himura."_


	2. Where From Here?

**No Escape**

_Chapter Two – Where From Here?_

_Soujirou__ felt his head clear for the first time in many moons. The red-headed Battosai had been filling his thoughts ever since they parted in the Temple of Seven Arches. At first, Soujirou couldn't understand why Himura had left him alive. Was it to humiliate him? To teach him some kind of lesson? No, those were too harsh to be Himura. He had left him alive so Soujirou could learn the truth of life for himself. That, and his vow not to kill. How could a killer so effective as Himura the Battosai take a vow like that? It simply didn't make any sense._

_As the days passed, Soujirou found himself alone on the road more often than not. With so many hours of silence, his thoughts went rampaging, trying to how his entire life philosophy could've been proven wrong in just a few short minutes. Every animal in nature seemed to live by Mr. Shishio's beliefs, the strong survive and the weak perish. The bigger fish ate the smaller one and the eagle ate them both. He had spent his entire life becoming the strongest predator he could be._

_Then, as fierce and quick as a bolt of lightening, Kenshin Himura had quietly stepped into his life and beaten him to the ground, literally.__ Fully expecting to die, Soujirou had looked into those violet eyes, thinking he would see the culmination of the philosophy he had adopted. What he found instead set his entire world spinning. Never, in his entire life, had anyone's eyes reflected kindness toward the young man. He didn't know what to do. Soujirou's years of swordsmanship training had allowed him to keep some semblance of composure in front of his enemy, but it had only lasted as long as the daylight._

_That night, walking slowly from the temple at the hilltop, Soujirou's emotions fully broke through his long held seal. He fell to his knees and screamed until his voice left him, then cried until dawn. Anger, confusion, sorrow, regret, hate, and helplessness battled inside him until he had no emotions left. There was only one feeling left that he had not experienced, ever. It was love. Every time he thought of Himura, Soujirou began to feel that foreign emotion filling him. It frightened him, and made him want to get rid of it. _

_After two moons of ignoring his feelings, he came to the realizations that he could not make them go away by forgetting about them. He then spent many nights of fitful sleep trying to debase his emotions. Why on earth would he love the man that shattered his world? How can he be loving another man anyway? What did it mean that when he thought of Himura, he could only see his warm, violet eyes, and long for the feel of those callused but merciful hands? _

_On the last night before his return, he finally stilled in sleep. The dreams were no longer violent and hateful, but different. Soujirou dreamt that he was walking through the Temple of Seven Arches and came upon the Battosai, battered and broken on the floor. He knelt to attend him and was surprised to find them suddenly both naked. When he rolled Himura over, his eyes were drawn to how the bandages around his neck made a collar and felt the need to dominate the smaller man. Sleeping on the futon in the inn's room, Soujirou's breathing had become erotic._

_In his dream, Himura yielded to his every wish, allowing the young man to hold him down and trace his wounds. When Himura gasped in pain, Soujirou could barely contain a wave of pleasure. So this was to be that way it was? More pleasure filled him as he held the Battosai under him and spread his blood onto his fingers. Soujirou shoved his fingers into Himura's mouth and felt the warm, wet tongue moving, cleaning his own blood from the young man's hand. That was more than he could handle and Soujirou awoke to a mind numbing orgasm. _

_That was it, the time had come to deal with this ridiculous, pervading emotion. Perhaps he was merely lusting after the only person who had shown understanding and kindness. A warrior could not have these feelings mushing up his insides, the distraction was a quick way to defeat and death. The next morning, after washing the sheets himself, he left in search of the place he knew Himura would be. The Kamiya Dojo. It was unfortunate that he should encounter those who considered him an enemy, they were dealt with quickly and mercilessly. Soujirou was on a mission and had no time for frivolous battles._

_When he arrived, he took his customary surveillance spot in a large tree near the training room, waiting impatiently against his own will to catch his first glimpse of Himura. As the day wore on, though, he grew more impatient than usual, and when he saw the former leader of the third squad of the Shinsengumi come into the yard with the Kamiya girl, all his patience left him. He dropped out of the tree and approached them, fully intending to be peaceful._

As Kenshin examined Soujirou's body, he noticed that there was a dagger hidden in the young man's sleeve. He withdrew it and was surprised to find his name carved hastily in the hilt. As he brought it close to his face, he caught the scent of blowfish poison. It appeared that Soujirou had come to kill him. Had Saito come here out of a sense of duty? Maybe to protect the others? Wait a minute…where were the others? He knew Yahiko was gone and Sanoske was probably out losing money again. But…what about this place's master?

In a sudden panic, Kenshin ran through the dark toward the altar in the dojo, Kaoru always kept burning incense there. He swiped the sticks with a silent apology to the gods and dashed to the candle on the middle of the wall. Just before he got to it, his foot caught on something soft and he fell hard. In the back of his mind he knew what the light would reveal, but could not bring himself to believe it. With trembling hands, he held the smoldering incense to the wick until it lit. Unwillingly, his eyes sought the object on the floor. His terrified scream of pure anguish echoed throughout the Kashin yard.


	3. The Last One

**No Escape**

_Chapter Three – The Last One_

Kenshin tried to look away, but couldn't. He tried to shut his eyes, or stop his screaming or do anything other than kneel at her side. His body was like a dead weight and his emotions were so far out of control that he could barely feel them. Kaoru's lithe form lay motionless in front of him and every detail of her death was burning itself into his brain against his will. She was lying in a pool of her own cold blood and staring straight ahead, as if she died in surprise. Her hair had begun to slip out of that indigo ribbon and her pretty yellow kimono was a sickly red where it touched the ground. Kenshin could tell from the size of the wound that the killing blow had gone all the way through her chest. He was finding it harder and harder to draw a full breath. One word welled up in his throat with such force that he couldn't stop it for anything. His usually stoic exterior cracked and he threw back his head and screamed until he was hoarse, "No…no…no…nonononoooo… By the _gods_, NOOOOO!!!"

His mind whirled at high speed as he sought some way around the horrifying truth. How had this happened? What had gone on while he was gone? How could he have let this be? He had known Soujirou had disappeared, why had it not occurred to him that the assassin would come here? How could he have left her unprotected? Questions filled his mind until he was dizzy with fury at himself. How had he allowed this failure? His vision blurred as tears filled his violet eyes and spilled down his face. He reached to close her empty blue eyes and a sob was wrenched from his already sore throat. His body shook as he wept in the way that stole all the air from his lungs, wailing in soul crushing agony.

_As Soujirou advanced, Saito tensed. It was clear from the young man's appearance that he was unstable so there was no telling what he would do. True to the observation, the assassin screamed at them in uncharacteristic rage. "You cannot hide him from me!! I MUST SEE MR. HIMURA!!" Soujirou was flushed from the force of his anger and almost broke into a run. Saito's katana met his and the force pushed the policeman back into the dojo. Kaoru yelped, nearly falling over herself trying to get away from the warriors. She backed up to the shrine and gave a silent prayer that Kenshin would get home soon. The men's blows were coming so quickly that she almost couldn't keep up._

_Saito growled at his opponent, "You don't…have to do this…there must…be another way!" The wolf of Mibu could barely stay ahead of the enraged young man and was surprised by the ferocity of the attack. Surely he was not intent on killing them all? Saito's words had no effect, Soujirou only slashed at him again and again, his faster-than-godlike-speed picking up. The more the younger man fought, the more involved in his love, hate, confusion, pain, and desire he became, and soon he was in the purest trance of a fighter. Slash after slash was dealt, each faster than the last, and through the emotionally charged haze, Soujirou could feel his blows striking flesh. He heard a voice cut through his trance and his eyes cleared and sharpened on the source._

_"Please stop! You're going to kill him!" Kaoru begged again. Soujirou looked back and wasn't too surprised to find Saito on the floor, bleeding from many wounds and panting. He tried to stand, but couldn't at the moment, so the policeman just glared up at his opponent, white gloved hand to his shoulder stemming the blood flow. Soujirou merely looked at Kaoru coolly as he turned on her._

_"You've had him all along, haven't you?" he asked in a menacingly quiet voice. "You've been able to see him and talk to him," he paused, taking one slow step in her direction. Kaoru backed away, "You've had a chance to laugh with him, and cry with him…and love him. I never had that chance." Kaoru's back hit the wall and she tried to flatten into it. Soujirou stopped with his face inches from hers, "You do love him, don't you?" Inside, he was hoping she would say she didn't._

_Kaoru was so frightened that she didn't say a thing. She knew she loved the ruroni, but if she said so, he might fly off the handle. He came slightly closer and stared into her eyes, boring into her soul. His eyes widened, then narrowed and a blush crept up his neck. His breathing quickened and he screamed in her face, "DON'T YOU?!" and ran his blade so far through Kaoru that it lodged in the wooden wall behind her. She gasped and stared in shock at Soujirou as her hot blood began to spread through the yellow silk of her kimono._

_Carelessly, he yanked the sword from the Kamiya assistant master, letting her crumple at his feet. He turned toward Saito to finish him off only to take a gatotsu right in the chest. The impact was stunning, but as he went down, Soujirou jammed his blood slicked blade into Saito's chest and broke it off. Both men grunted as they fell, never losing eye contact. Saito grasped the piece of sword to pull it out, but it had lodged in his breastbone and wouldn't budge. As his blood drained out, he looked at the sad boy lying next to him. He was disappointed, what a useless way for the former leader of the third squad of the Shinsengumi to die. He squeezed his eyes shut against the coming unknown._

_As the darkness surrounded him, Soujirou kept his eyes on the doorway of the dojo, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man he had come here for. It would appear he wouldn't have a chance to use the poisoned dagger after all. He was sad when his vision left him, he'd never get to see those kind violet eyes again. The last thing he heard was the beating of his heart stop._

Kenshin knelt next to Kaoru until he was numb. Everything was numb, his heart, his mind, his feelings, his body. Nothing mattered, even in the slightest. The former Battosai stared at the carnage around him and for the first time in his life, felt nothing. All the sorrow, pain and rage was gone, leaving only an empty void where his heart used to be. He could tell his ki had dimmed so much that it was almost non-existent. Slowly, an emotion began to fill him. Loathing. He hated himself for being so useless. He had left them unprotected and this was the result.

Everything he had ever cared about was now gone. His curse of bringing destruction to all those around him was as strong as it had ever been. In his time at the dojo, he had come to believe the dark days of his past were behind him and had actually felt at peace for the first time. As soon as he let his guard down, karma had come to pay him for his role in the revolution. So it was true, then. He was never to be happy and posed only a danger to those around him. What was the point trying? Numbly, he looked down and saw the poisoned dagger with his name on the hilt. So it really was for him, and Kenshin knew exactly what to do. He dully grasped the dagger and stared at it. He gazed at his beloved Kaoru for one last time and bent to place a tender kiss on her cool lips. "I'm sorry…my love," he whispered.

Kenshin sat up straight and closed his eyes, desperately searching for any reason to stay his hand. In his dumb reverie, he missed the sound of footsteps pounding toward the dojo. If he had heard them, he would have recognized the long stride of his gambling friend. With the blood rushing in his ears, he lifted the dagger, his expert hands aiming at his own heart. He furrowed his brow and let out a grunt as he pulled the blade toward his chest. He felt the cool steel impact flesh and awaited the blissful release of death. It never came. Instead, he heard a grunt from a voice other than his own.

Kenshin opened his eyes to the last sight he wanted to see at that point. Sanoske had stopped the blade with his forearm, the bloody tip of the dagger protruding. The ruroni's jaw dropped and he stared at his comrade. Sanoske had the same terrified look that Kensin had when he came in.

"I heard Saito was coming here because of S…," Sano's words stopped as he felt the burn of the blowfish poison start to spread. In one brief moment, he understood. His face softened into a roguish smile and he turned his deep brown eyes to Kenshin's violet. "Hey, now don't go blamin' this on yourself, this was none of your fault. I should'a known something wasn't right when I had that winning streak today…ungh." He groaned and fell to his hands and knees, pulling the dagger from his friend's hand. His breathing was getting shallow. Kenshin could only stare as the toughest fighter he'd ever met fell before him. "Ken…shin, p-promise you won't d-do that…stay alive, d-don't give up." Sanoske fell to his back from the growing pain and looked up at his friend, he knew not too much time was left. "C'mon, p-promise."

Kenshin opened his mouth to answer and no sound came out. His heart clenched at the look of pain on the fighter's face. With tears flowing freely, he whispered, "I promise, my friend." Sanoske smiled once again and closed his eyes against the searing poison, turning his face away so Kenshin would not see his last moments. His chest stopped rising and Sanoske laid still.

The ruroni closed his eyes and bowed his head, not knowing what to do. Never before had so much misery descended upon him. Perhaps it was repayment for the murders he committed, it felt like all the pain he ever caused had come crashing down on him at the same time. He sat perfectly still, but the tears didn't stop. Everything was quiet; even the night made no noise. It was as if the crickets and owls knew. Inside himself, Himura Kenshin ripped out the remaining parts of his heart and destroyed them. When he opened his eyes, a terrifyingly intense gold gleamed from behind his red bangs. He stood, pulled the cloth band from his hair and held it to the candle flame. As soon as it caught, he tossed it to the wooden floor. Smoke filled the room as the Battosai knelt in front of Kaoru Kamiya's body, laid the reverse-blade sword at her side and offered a silent goodbye. From now on, he would need a more effective sword than one not meant to kill.

_The End_


End file.
